Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?
Last Updated: 24.06.2025 00:48
And the sadness?
Be who you already are.
I was tired of fighting.
When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.
You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.
In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.
Russell's F1 Canadian GP win in doubt after Red Bull protest - Autosport
It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.
It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.
So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”
It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.
You are like me, then.
Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.
Xbox finally reveals handheld console after decade of speculation - BBC
Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.
But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.
I was tired of trying and failing.
Anyone Can Now Access the Largest Space Map Ever Created. Here's How - CNET
Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.
This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.
What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.
Infectious Updates 6/21/2025 - Daily Kos
Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.
What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.
So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.
What type of fish is best for fish tacos?
The sadness was still there.
For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.
I had run out of hope.
Study shows that early humans climbed trees and worked with stone - Earth.com
But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.
It’s still here.
Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.
It’s here now, writing to you.
It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.